*Something nice that I got in my inbox this morning* ~ N
Mathematicians sometimes speak of a proof as beautiful or elegant. Many solutions to everyday problems feel the same way when they first reveal themselves. But prior to most new solutions comes a period of confusion.
For me, confusion, "not knowing," is uncomfortable. I wish I could avoid it.
Then I remember the 4 room apartment - a model of change by Claus Janssen:
1. Contentment. No one changes in contentment, why should they?
2. Denial. I can't change in Denial. I am not aware that I need to change!
3. Confusion. Ahh, here is where people change.
4. Renewal. What a great feeling. Energy returns. Good news.
So, I need to remind myself in times of confusion that it is okay to "not know." Confusion makes me stop and think, reconsider my options. Not a bad thing usually.
So, why do I judge myself so negatively when I get confused? Why do I feel I have to "know" all the answers already? Is it because confusion causes anxiety and anxiety is uncomfortable? Well, yeah. So why is that good?
Because it forces me into action: Confused and anxious I have to seek relief. I am forced to stop flying solo, to reach out and ask for help, to talk to others, to check reality with a colleague, to exercise until I can breathe easy again.
Perhaps I am wired backwards but I usually have to get into action when I am anxious as opposed to waiting until I can figure it all out. I used to joke that I am like Robert Redford's character, the Sundance Kid - "I'm better when I move."
By making me anxious and forcing me into motion, confusion pushes me toward clarity - and that is a beautiful thing.
I hope you are having a wonderful spring. ~ Mark
The Artist's Way at Work and Mark Bryan
Mark is co-founder of The Artist's Way workshops and provides coaching and consulting on creativity and innovation as well as general career and family issues. For more information please visit www.markbryan.com or call Ginny at 626-535-0141.
Copyright © 2008 Mark Bryan
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