In the previous company that I headed, we had this weekly learning event called Show & Tell. Yes, it was similar to the kindergarten Show & Tell where you had to bring something to class and explain what it was. Our version of Show & Tell required one member of the staff to make a presentation about absolutely anything, and then present key insights about that to the rest of the team. It was supposed to develop creative thinking, confidence, and whatever else a start-up creative firm was supposed to develop among its members.
Sadly for me, that company no longer exists; neither does the "mentor-protege" relationship that I thought I had with my then-partners. But I was unable to unearth my first (and only) Show & Tell presentation from a year ago, about how I, in my friend Carissa Villacorta's words, "made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream." Unfortunately, the original Powerpoint presentation (which I really loved) is already lost; what remains is this Word version.
Looking back at this, I cringe at some of the examples that I used. It's funny how one year can change so many things. But I still believe in the "principles" that I've outlined here because, setbacks and all, I still AM living the dream.
Thanks to my friend, Mark Ruiz (of WhyNot? Forum, not the "Mark" whom I mention in my piece), whose own speech/presentation in Ateneo inspired me to dig for this from within the deepest recesses of my multiple hard drives. I'll be posting Mark's wonderfully inspiring message here as soon as I get permission from him.Ü
Show & Tell #1
Living the Dream
In her book, Surreality, my “soul-sister” Carissa Villacorta writes: “In
I used to dream a lot when I was much younger. I dreamed of being a singer, a Broadway actress, a novelist, a lawyer, a political lobbyist (or a politician), a diplomat in the United Nations, and editor-in-chief of my very own magazine. I used to hole myself up in my mom’s room with either a typewriter (I bought my very own typewriter when I was about nine), our computer, or our videocam. I would write stories, program simple games (the first “game” I programmed was named “Telly”), or animate my Lego toys or my chalk drawings. My mind was always working, always dreaming.
Somewhere along the way I realized that I can achieve anything I wanted, as long as I put my heart and soul into it. My life now is the product of about 10 years of patient dreaming, writing, working, stumbling and then picking myself up, and learning along the way. Like Carissa, I can say that I have made the jump from dreaming the life to living the dream.
What I’m about to share aren’t “secrets for success”; in my book, I’m not even there yet. And nobody can even claim to have the monopoly over those so-called “success secrets.” The truth is, anyone can live the dream—and that’s no secret. What I’m about to share are lessons that I’ve learned about dreaming… and then making them real.
1. Acknowledge your hopes, dreams, desires, and passions.
I’ve been writing for as long as I could remember. Journals, short stories, scripts, reports, newsletters, websites… name it, as long as there was some writing involved, I tried to get into it. So when I was discerning about my true path shortly before I resigned from my last job, I realized that I had to stop denying my true passion and just take the plunge into the writing world already. There have been many ups and downs since then, but I’ve never regretted my decision to be where I am now.
2. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, as well as trends and patterns in your life.
It wasn’t just writing that I loved. For some reason, I was always thrust into a leadership position wherever I was. At home, I was the big sister and the “little mommy.” In school, I was almost always a project leader or a class officer. Even when we were just playing games, my playmates would ask me to take charge of the game.
I tried to shy away from that role, but I soon saw my purpose for being in charge wasn’t so much to give orders or to boss people around. My mission for leading people, as Stephen Covey put it so well, was to help others find their own voice and reach for their own stars. So I decided to step up and swallow both the good and the bad of being in front and center, because I know that it will serve a higher purpose for more than just myself.
3. Visualize yourself in your desired state—now. Be specific!
I was an extremely grade-conscious student. When I was in college, I used to make a replica of our grade report and input the grades that I wanted to get for each subject. Then I hung it over my bed as a daily reminder of my goals. When that worked, I realized that it does help to write down your goals. Since then, I’ve been making what I call “vision art”—my dreams and visions of myself as depicted in scrapbook art, in paintings, in poetry, and in similar pieces. At one point, I even had a vision wall! (Now I’m working on a “vision article”—a feature article written by someone about me when I’m in my 40s.)
It sounds cheesy, but it does help to visualize your goals. What your mind sees through your eyes, your mind can create through your physical self. (Remember, an architect always needs a blueprint before he begins building anything…)
4. Internalize what you need in order to get what you want.
At the start of each sem, I would make three projections of my grades: a best-case, a worst-case, and a most-likely scenario. Based on those, I knew how to play around with my grades and my allowed cuts in order to get closest to the QPI (quality point index) that I was aiming for. If was weak in one subject, I knew that I had to work harder on the other subjects in order to pull my grades up. If campaign season was coming up (I campaigned for the Student Council four times and won three times), I knew that I had to attend all my classes at the start of the sem in order to save up all my cuts for when I had to campaign.
Knowing what I wanted, and knowing what I needed in order to get there, helped me make crucial decisions at crucial points in my life. Although my chosen example was about school, this applies to me in other areas of my life as well.
5. Learn to see the signs all around you. Remember that there is no such thing as a mere coincidence. Everything happens for a reason.
Now for the mushy stuff. My relationship with Paul is the culmination of a strange and exhilarating string of coincidences. We bumped into each other at the Zen garden of the AIM on a night when I wasn’t supposed to be there and he just happened to be there. I painted a flamenco picture shortly before running into him, and I showed him the painting during our second date, just when he was about to tell me that maybe I’d enjoy dancing at the Centro Flamenco, where he used to play. I asked him if he knew Nicholas Gunn, a New Age flutist whom very few people know of and whose music reminded me of his, just when he was looking for someone who knew Nicholas Gunn and who could lend him the CD. Our moms knew each other and our dads have the same name. We have the same birthday, headed the same project in college, and even took the same minor (Spanish).
Things like these happen all the time, sure, but if they happen in succession—and if they help you in answering something that you’ve been discerning about, then you’d better sit up and listen.
6. Be open to the opportunities that Life will throw your way.
Paulo Coelho, the best-selling author of The Alchemist, wrote, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Opportunities are the Universe’s way of conspiring for you. If you know how to recognize the opportunities and see the signs around you, then you’ll have a greater chance of following your true path and fulfilling your dream, your destiny.
But just because the Universe will help you doesn’t mean that you should be passive. Being open to opportunities also means looking for them and being prepared for them. Just as a farmer tills the soil, plants the seed, waters the ground, and lets the sunshine in before he waits for the plant to grow, so must we prepare ourselves so that when opportunity strikes we will be equipped to take it.
7. Discern! Learn to say NO…
Discernment doesn’t just mean saying yes to the opportunities, but also saying no to those “opportunities” that will lead you away from your true path. Just as I was about to take the leap into freelancing, I was referred by some friends to a large multinational insurance firm. I went through a rigorous recruitment process, just for the heck of it, and at 23 was the youngest candidate to be interviewed by the company’s president, a Japanese who needed a translator. I was offered 40 grand basic plus commissions, but I didn’t take it. I knew that I wasn’t meant to be in the insurance industry, so I politely told them that I needed to be fair to everyone concerned and go another route.
When you’re 23 and single and you earn 40 grand, it’s almost like winning the lottery. It was very, very difficult to say no to the offer—especially since as a budding freelancer I had no savings, no clients yet, and no financial fallback. But I knew that I will forever regret it if I didn’t begin my writing career then.
8. BUT… Don’t close your doors!
You need to know when to jump, when to stay put, and when to give others a second chance. The first time Ronald, Mark, and I talked about working together (in 2004) I was being offered a three-to-six-month internship in Singapore—just like Milaine—before coming back to the Philippines to work on the Discover series. They interviewed me a couple of times, communicated the offer, and even set an approximate date for my departure. I had only three weeks to prepare, and I was very, very excited but also very, very nervous.
The three weeks turned into three months, and, before I knew it, the company’s direction had changed. It would’ve been easy for anyone to get disheartened and to discount the thought of ever working with them again, but I told myself that maybe it was the Universe’s way of saying I wasn’t ready for the opportunity yet. I resolved to let us both go our own ways first while I prepared myself to be an entrepreneur. I knew that, someday, somehow, a similar opportunity would surface.
That whole intermission took around two years… so imagine if I had closed my doors then! We wouldn’t be where we all are now!
9. Be willing to work hard and sacrifice for your dream.
The higher the goal, the higher the jump. The higher the jump, the harder the training. The harder the training, the more painful the bruises. You’ll know if something is what you really want if you’re willing to take so much pain just to make it real.
On my first month of freelancing I had no computer at home, just one client that paid peanuts, and, by practical standards, very slim chances of making it in the real world. But instead of pushing myself down, I used my circumstances to pull myself up. I accessed all my writing assignments from the office computer during lunchtime (never during office hours), worked on all my articles by hand at night, and then typed them in the office computer the next lunchtime. I sacrificed food and rest in order to be a writer.
By the time that I had already established myself as a freelancer, my family suffered its worst financial slump ever. We lost our landline, Internet connection, and the car, and there was no income for rent, basic necessities, or my brother’s tuition. I had to push myself harder—working 20 hours a day, every day of the year, seven projects at a time—to pull myself and my family up. In time I was able to triple or even quadruple my income, restore all the utilities and pay for ALL the bills at home (including my brother’s tuition and my mom’s transportation and allowance), and get the projects done on time. Sure, I had no social life and almost turned into a skeleton, but that was the price I had to pay for those whom I loved.
10. Look for mentors.
We go through life (or at least this life) just once, so it’s important to seek guidance from those who’ve been there longer than us. At each stage in my young life I always made it a point to connect with someone who was older, wiser, and more experienced than I was.
At home, I spent a lot of time with my ninang, our next-door neighbor who babysat us whenever my mom was out of the country. I also made it a point to spend as much as I could with my parents (everyone will tell you I’m both mommy and daddy’s girl). In school, I bonded with my sophomore high school English teacher and my college Philosophy, Spanish, and Political Science professors, who all guided me in making very important life decisions. In my early career, I looked to one of the HR managers, as well as to one of the senior executives handling the Ayala Young Leaders Congress, for advice about the corporate jungle. Now it’s Ronald and Mark whom I consider my mentors. [Note: Blast from the past!]
The point here is that there will always be something that we do not know, and always someone who could show us the way. The most important thing is to be teachable.
11. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
I’ve been very, very blessed to have the friends that I do. My high school best friends are all driven, ambitious women with causes larger than themselves—one works for Metrobank Foundation and another, for the Supreme Court. My college barkada (which includes Candice!) comprised officers of the student council, school orgs, and the school COMELEC. A number of them already occupy important government posts. My work buddies are either certified, award-winning “young leaders” or are spearheading their own enterprises and causes. Everywhere I look around me, people are working to make a difference.
It’s not that you should discriminate against those who are less than stellar. But you need to be each other’s source of motivation—when someone’s feeling low, don’t allow them to stay there; you need to push and pull each other up!
12. Keep on dreaming!
Once you’ve started the cycle of dreaming and then making the dreams real, it’s hard to stop. There are always new heights to conquer, new dreams to pursue. What’s important is for each of us to stay true to our inner selves and to make our dreams reflect our higher purpose—we should never allow just any “dream”(especially the physical, material ones) to take precedence over our true calling, our mission.
I’m a dreamer—always have been, always will be. And for as long as my mind can build castles in the clouds, the rest of me will work to build firm foundations under my feet.
Here’s hoping that you, too, will find your dream—and then live it.
No comments:
Post a Comment