*Note: I took part in the WhyNot? Forum just this Thursday at Warehouse 135, and it was a much-needed shot in the arm for me. At a time when I'm once again in discernment over what to do and where to go next (this time considering the forthcoming marriage and family), being in that place, seeing familiar faces, and reconnecting with old ideals was exactly what I needed.
While corresponding with WhyNot? Forum founder Mark Ruiz, he sent me this post, written on the occasion of his 30th birthday. I still have two years and three months to go before I hit "The Big 3-0," but I feel the same way. I'm sure a lot of you do, too.
I also wrote about the WhyNot? Forum and hope it will be published by a major daily soon. (I just submitted the article this morning and made the pitch--please cross your fingers for me!) I'll definitely be writing more about it (as well as other things) in the coming months.
Happy reading (and thinking, and asking...)
* * *
HAY, LIFE !
(a.k.a. There's Something About 30)
(a.k.a. There's Something About 30)
As i'm writing this, it's early morning and i'm on a beachfront, feeling cornered by the sea. I'm ipod-plugged, laptop-wired, nature-inspired. Sporadic waves sputter, dogs wander about sniffing sand, the wind oscillates yet eventually calms down. There's this kid, she's running mindlessly across the shoreline, and unlike most (if not practically all) grown-ups i know, she's not running like she's racing against time. She's running because – well, let me put it this way -- she's running because she's just running.
I guess this is as best place as any – a personal sanctuary -- to spend my last day before i greet the fkkking big 3-0. It feels like a reverse prison sentence, this age point no longer landing on the line of 2. I know i'm making more out of it than it should really be – i mean, what the hell does age mean anyway? It's just a freaking number after all. But my blood feels richer than it used to be, my spirit's beautifully heavier than it used to be, my head's lighter in places that it shouldn't be, and my libido – well, let's just not go there. Bwahahaha ... *wink*.
And so i'm here. And it's frustratingly hard to actually posit where "here" is. Or what it even remotely feels like. And so i try to hide in shadows and mirrors and metaphors, a writer's cop-out if you will.
And all i glimpse is water. Fluid, boundless water. Water that drowns as much as it cleanses, engulfs as much as it embraces, calms spirits as much as it creates chaos. Water.
---
I had a relatively weird experience the other week. I had a meeting in a coffee place somewhere in greenhills, my first time to go there after several months. And i couldn't explain it, but i just felt downed.
It took me awhile to realize, but that place had negative mojo for me. When i resigned over a year ago to try my luck out on my own, that was the place that i would crash. It was around that time that we didn't really have an office yet, and so it became my little nook in the universe. Our schedule wasn't exactly brimming with appointments and to do's. I distinctly remember that there were days that i would just stay (more like hide) there the whole day - most especially from the world - 'cause i was afraid that people would think that i was just really a bum.
And i vividly remember what kept me going during those days, the emotion and reason still crystal. It was nothing else but the absolutely stubborn belief ... that i'd get to this point where i am in now. The absolutely stubborn belief that i'd get to this point where i am in now.
And where i am now is several steps beyond in-between. The time for thinking about what to do with my life has long passed, the shaky starting-out jitters jarringly cleared, this life transition finally in full gradient. It's making-it-happen time.
And if there's one thing amongst the litany of things i've put on my plate that i'm dead-set on seeing through (with unimaginably the best partners in the world), just please check out Hapinoy.com. It's a dream slowly coming into its own reality.
---
I saw this new ad i really love, and its for Arcelor Mittal, the steel company. It's a picture of two similar images of people from different perspectives. One guy is staring at the moon. The other image is a guy in a spacesuit on the moon, staring back at the earth. The tagline
goes, "Boldness changes everything."
And so as i hit the big fkking 3-0 i realize THAT'S IT. THAT'S FKKKN' " IT".
I'M NOT OLDER. I'M BOLDER.
I have a passion project right now, and it's called "The WhyNot? Forum : Inspiring Filipino Ingenuity". It's actually bloody simple : (7) ingenious Filipinos, (15) minutes each – sharing their ideas, passions, dreams (inspired by TED.com). As i was trying to capture the spirit of the forum, trying to distil what it was that made the speakers' lives so meaningful that they HAVE TO BE SHARED with the rest of the world, the following line sort of wrote itself : "Think New Thoughts. Share Big Dreams. Do Brave Things."
And so as i reach the big 3-0, i've decided i will embrace that spirit. The WhyNot? Spirit. Of limitless possibilities, bold thinking, the "going for it" imperative. More than anything, I've reached a stage that i've run out of excuses not to make a big difference. More than anything, it just wouldn't do justice to this wonderfully beautiful gift of life -- if it wasn't used for life itself.
I'm fkkkn' 30! And truthfully, absolutely, positively – a bold new chapter in my life has just begun.
+AMDG
Mark Joaquin Ruiz
September 16, 2007
La Union
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